The Prologue
The shadow was approaching. ‘Ivanov Romanov, Ivanov Romanov, Ivanov Romanov,’ Filip whispered the name to himself again and again as though his life depended on him remembering it. And perhaps it did. ‘Ivanov Romanov, Ivanov Romanov.’ He took another look through the darkness down the line of strangers standing next to the old bus that had brought them there, and saw that the soldier was getting closer. A single light shone in the dark at the end of the line where the barrier was and made the soldier look like a big black shadow moving down the line towards Filip. He was more than a little afraid of the shadow, and wished, not for the first time that day, that he was somewhere else.
It had been a strange day for Filip and all a bit of a blur. He was six years old and had spent his entire life on the family’s run-down farm in Bulgaria. They called it a farm, but they really didn’t produce very much these days, having sold off most of their land to pay for life’s small necessities. Most of the time their food consisted of nothing more than bread, salted tomatoes and plain potatoes. They didn’t have a lot. The house was small and the family was large, and there was a hole in one of the bedrooms where the rain had brought the roof down. It was in Filip’s bedroom in fact, that he shared with seven of his cousins all crammed into two beds, but it didn’t bother him. None of it bothered him, the simple food, the small house, the one and only dirty toilet at the end of the garden or the worn-out old hand-me-downs that he lived in day to day. He didn’t know anything else, didn’t know that there were other worlds out there, that life could be different. He had never heard the words ‘a better life’ before that day.
In the early hours of the morning he had been hastily awoken by his grandmother and pulled out of the bed he shared with three of his cousins.
‘Quickly put these on’ she had whispered in the darkness as she handed him a pair of slightly worn shoes. They felt strange to wear, for Filip was not used to wearing shoes. They were a luxury the family could rarely afford. These had belonged to an older cousin and now Filip felt very proud to be wearing them. His grandmother hurried him, still half asleep, into an old car he’d never seen before. She had sat him on her lap and held him so close as the car set off, that he could hear how her heart was pounding.
‘Where are we going?’ he asked through the veil of sleep he couldn’t shake off.
‘Far away’ his grandmother whispered as though she was telling him a secret that no one else must know, not even the driver who was taking them there. He had seen the man before at the house but couldn’t remember his name.
‘Why?’ he asked.
‘We’re leaving,’ she explained. ‘We’re leaving Bulgaria and we’re going to Greece for a better life. Try to sleep Filip,’ she soothed as she stroked his head, ‘we have a busy few days ahead of us.’
They had travelled for hours in that car until they reached a large city where the man who had been driving left them and they met with another man who had a big bus. Filip saw his grandmother give him a lot of money. More than Filip had ever seen in his whole life and it made his eyes grow wide. Then the man had taken them all to get their pictures taken and given them all little red books with BULGARIA written on the front in large gold letters. Then they all got in his bus, and set off again on another journey.
‘We’re going to play a game,’ his grandmother had told him while they travelled through village after village on what seemed an endless journey. ‘We are going to pretend that your name is not Filip Todorov. We will pretend that it is Ivanov Romanov. Can you remember that?’
‘Ivanov Romanov,’ he had repeated after her.
‘That’s right. If anybody asks you what your name is, that’s what you have to tell them, understand? It’s very, very important.’
He nodded.
‘Okay. Don’t be afraid Filip. Everything is going to be alright.’ She put her arm around him to draw him close and planted a kiss on his forehead. He could feel her hand shaking on his shoulder and he knew that she was afraid. He didn’t know what this Greece place was that there were going to, and he didn’t know what his grandmother had meant by ‘a better life.’ All he knew was that he was tired, he was cold, and he was afraid.
He gazed out of the window at the passing houses. There were many farms very like the one he knew as home, and he wondered if he would ever see it again, or any of the family they had left behind; the cousins he had played with all of his life, and the aunts and uncles who had raised him. He had no brothers or sisters. He had no parents. His mother had died when he was only three years old and his father had lost interest in him since. He couldn’t remember his mother and had no picture of her in his mind, for no one would ever talk about her. She was just an empty space in his life. He saw his father from time to time, when he came by the house to visit Filip’s grandmother, but he never spent any time with Filip, and Filip never thought of him as his father. Filip belonged to the whole family, and yet at the same time, he belonged to none of them.
As the sun set behind the mountains in the distance and the villages became fields and the fields became bare land, Filip found himself staring into his own face in the glass of the window. It was a dark dirty face, and that night it was a tired face. His usually bright, big, brown eyes looked droopy, and his curly black hair was sticking out in all directions. He gave in to the exhaustion, leaned his head against the cold glass and let the swaying of the bus send him to sleep.
When he awoke, he realised they had stopped and he saw a small light outside the window in front of the bus. The man, who had greeted them when they boarded the bus and had given him his little red book, was talking to some men outside. Filip couldn’t make them out. They just looked like shadows to him. Before he knew what to think, the man was back on the bus and hurrying them all outside into the cold dark night, to stand in a line on the side of the road. He had been separated from his grandmother and placed between a younger man and woman who he didn’t know. And that was where Filip stood now, clutching his little red book, trying not to forget his new name.
‘Ivanov Romanov, Ivanov Romanov, Ivanov Romanov.’ He didn’t feel like he was playing a game at all. He felt like he was on trial for something he had done, but he couldn’t remember what it was.
The soldier finally reached him, and now Filip could see his face as he bore down on him with a fierce scowl. Filip couldn’t take his eyes off the man as he held up the little red book as he had seen everyone else do before him. He didn’t trust the man that was towering over him with his small eyes and large moustache, but he didn’t dare look away. The man took the little red book and his eyes flickered several times between the book and Filip. ‘What is your name?’ he asked.
‘Ivanov Romanov.’ His voice sounded small and lost in the quiet night where the only sound was the soldier’s shoes as they shifted on the fine gravel at the side of the road.
The soldier nodded, handed Filip his book and moved on to the next person. Filip didn’t know if he had passed, if he had won the game, but he was glad the man was gone, disappearing further and further away into the dark again. He was cold and tired, but he didn’t have to wait long before they were all herded back onto the bus by the man who had given him the little red book with the false name inside. The man was very tall, and very thin, and he had a kind face. Filip liked the look of him and felt that he could trust him. Once they were all on board again and Filip had been reunited with his grandmother, the bus started to move forward and Filip watched through the window as they left behind the barrier and the soldiers. He was glad to be back on the warm bus with his grandmother. Once they were completely clear of the barrier, the tall man stood up at the front of the bus to address them all.
‘Okay everyone, we have made it into Albania. While we are here we must act in all ways like a group of tourists here to see the sights. We will be making several stops on the way to the border between Albania and Greece, at various parks where you can take a walk to stretch your legs, get some fresh air and have some food. Later, a lorry will pick us up at nine o’clock not far from the Greek border and take us across. I suggest you get what rest you can before then because it will be a tough night.’
When the man had finished Filip’s grandmother turned to him. ‘That man is our leader, Filip. If you lose me at any time, follow him. He will keep you safe.’
Filip thought that the man gave good advice about getting some rest. He didn’t know what lay ahead, but he suspected the days to come were going to be no less tiring or terrifying than this day had been.
At nine o’clock that evening it started to rain. The bus had taken them from park to park through the Albanian landscape. It had all been alien to Filip and he found it quite unsettling. All of the real tourists had been much better dressed than they were and he had felt ashamed of his worn out jeans with poorly patched holes and his faded t-shirt. He was missing his home and he was missing his bed. The only thing he had eaten since they left was a piece of bread and a large tomato his grandmother had given him, and that had been hours ago.
Now they had to leave the warm bus with the comfy seats and step out once again into the cold night, except this time it was raining. The lorry was there to meet them just as their leader had said it would be, but Filip did not like the look of it. It was large and dark and the tall sides seemed to glimmer threateningly in the rain. Everyone was lined up again to climb the small metal steps, into the lorry. They were all in such a hurry and when Filip and his grandmother got close the leader swept him up and placed him inside before he had the chance to refuse. It was dark in there and everyone was huddled at the back, wide eyed and nervous. Filip’s grandmother took his hand and pulled him in with the others. ‘Don’t be afraid Filip, everything is going to be okay. Sit down on the floor here.’ But he was afraid. He was very afraid.
The floor was hard and uncomfortable, but Filip did as he was told. When the last people had been loaded up, the leader stood in the opening facing everyone. When he spoke his voice was calm and soft.
‘I want everyone to remain very clam, and very quiet,’ he began. ‘Stay seated or lying down, do not at any time try to stand up. We will be crossing the border into Greece tonight, but first we have to get a little closer. When I open these doors I want everyone to jump out as quickly as possible and follow me as quick as you can. We will have to be fast to avoid the Greek authorities. So far we have been lucky; we have been blessed with rain. They don’t patrol so much when it’s raining. I will tell you more when we are able to stop again.’
The leader jumped down from the lorry and closed the doors, leaving them in total darkness. As the lorry gently rolled into action everyone sat in total silence. The only sound was that of the rain beating at the lorry walls. Filip was growing more and more afraid at every disturbing turn this journey was taking, and like everyone else huddled together around him, he daren’t make a sound for fear of being caught. He didn’t know who it was that would catch him, or what they would do if they did, but he was sure, that if they were anything like the dark shadow, he wouldn’t like it one bit.
When the lorry slowed to a stop and Filip heard voices outside in a strange language that he couldn’t understand, he barely dared to breath. He pictured in his mind dark shadows lurking outside the lorry, waiting to catch them out. It seemed everyone was holding their breath as well, and when they felt the lorry move forward once more there was a huge sigh of relief.
They travelled on huddled in silence for about another hour until, once again, they came to a stop and this time the doors were flung open. All at once, it seemed, the other people jumped up and ran for the exit, leaping out of the lorry and disappearing into the darkness. The rain was beating down harder now and as he approached the door Filip could feel it cold and wet on his skin. His grandmother jumped down first, but Filip was afraid. He was very small and it seemed a long way down. He was sure he would break something. His grandmother reached up to him imploring him to jump.
‘Filip, come on, we have to go. We don’t have time.’ Everyone was running after the leader into the dark and the rain. ‘Come on, you can do it. I know you can. It’s not so far.’
Filip felt the tears welling up in his eyes. Other people were jumping down either side of him and he knew that soon they would be left behind. He could feel the cold pinpricks of rain on his bare arms and face and it sent a chill all round his body. He didn’t understand why he was there, or what was going to happen, but he saw in his grandmother’s eyes that she was relying on him to be brave, so he blinked back the sting from his eyes, took a deep breath, and jumped. He landed straight in a large puddle of mud and water, and screamed as he felt the cold wet water seep through his shoes, his jeans, and his t-shirt. But there wasn’t time to think about it, because no sooner were his feet on the ground than his grandmother was pulling him along after the others.
He ran as fast as his short legs would take him and saw that they were all headed into a dark forest with a small dirt path running through it. The path had been softened by the rain and all around him people were slipping and sliding as they tried to keep up with the leader. They ran like that for a long time and somewhere in all the running, Filip lost touch with his grandmother. He remembered what she had told him about the leader and knew that if he could get to him, he would be safe, but he was getting tired. The rain continued to beat down on them, and Filip was already soaked through. Raindrops hung on his large eyelashes and he kept having to swipe at his face with the back of his arm to see where he was going. He was shaking all over as he ran, and he was determined not to let his grandmother down, but as he ran he could feel his shoe, full of muddy water, start to slide off his foot. He was afraid to lose his shoe, but he was more afraid to stop running and lose the group. They were running uphill and downhill through the forest and Filip had almost managed to catch up with the leader when he lost his footing and slid down into the soft mud floor. Footsteps pounded the mud all around him and Filip knew he must not lose them. He drove his little hands into the mud and scrambled to his feet again, but he had lost his shoe. He looked around in the darkness, but he couldn’t see it anywhere. His bare foot was cold as ice and panic was building up inside him, threatening to take control, when he saw it sticking out of the mud a little way back. He rushed to put it on, and he was on his way again, the mud squelching in his shoe with every other step. He had fallen behind a bit and it took all his power to will his tired shivering body on again to catch up with the rest of the group. He was lucky; he had strong legs, thanks to playing hours of football back at home with his cousins. He was the best striker among them and now he used that power to propel himself forward through the dark trees to where he felt safe again, in the midst of the group of running strangers heading he didn’t know where.
It seemed they ran like that all night, stopping only for five minutes rest here and there, where they huddled beneath the trees for shelter and warmth, and Filip found his grandmother again. Every time they stopped, the leader would seem impatient and eager to get moving again. Filip could have happily lain down in the mud and gone to sleep, but every time the leader had his way and they would soon all be running again, through the mountainous forest.
Eventually, in what must have been the early hours of the morning, they cleared the forest and found themselves instead running through fields of olive trees. Filip felt as though his legs were on autopilot, because he kept on running, even though he couldn’t feel them anymore. Thankfully the rain was beginning to ease off now, but not the cold, which had wrapped itself around his body and penetrated to his very core with no intention of letting go. As he ran through the field, others running in front of him, behind him and to his left, he suddenly caught a glimpse in the corner of his eye of a large dark shadow to his right, and the shock caused him to jump back for fear of being caught. The shadow let out a terrific, drawn out, low screeching sound, and it was only then that Filip realised he had been scared by nothing more than a donkey. He was still trying to regain his stride after this shock, when suddenly the leader whistled loudly and motioned everyone to drop down on the ground.
Everyone was silent and still and lay in the field, eyes all focused on the road that ran alongside the field. Filip followed their gaze and saw that there were two headlights cutting through the darkness and coming their way. As it drew nearer, Filip saw that it was an army truck and the men inside held large guns. He wanted to hold his breath now, but he was so exhausted from the running he was having trouble catching his breath and lay in the dirt of the field panting. He was so focused on the approaching danger that he jumped once again when he felt a hand enclose his. A nervous energy coursed through his body and when he looked up and saw that his grandmother was lying in the dirt next to him, a wave of relief washed over him. She also had her eyes fixed on the truck and she whispered ‘Oh my God. They caught us.’
Filip could feel his heart pounding in his chest and everything was silent save for the sound of the truck’s engine. When it seemed as though the truck was right on top of them, Filip caught the sound of the voices of the people inside. They were speaking very loudly and he could tell that they were joking about something. Their laughter rang out into the night oblivious to the terror beside them in the field. They spoke the same language Filip had heard earlier. He was sure now that they would be caught, but everyone lay frozen, hidden in the dark, sheltered by the night, and the men did not see them. The truck rolled on by and soon the leader had everyone on their feet again and running onwards.
Before long the sun came up and it was warm. Very warm. Filip felt it quickly drying his wet clothes until they were stiff with crusty mud. Just when he thought that he really couldn’t run anymore, their night long run came to an end and the leader brought them to another lorry that was waiting for them. This one was smaller and the walls were made of wooden slats.
‘Everyone lie down,’ the leader instructed as they all scrambled in one after another. Filip found himself a spot right up against the wooden slats and as he lay there, he was able to see through the cracks the new world the sun was revealing.
‘We’re in Greece, Filip. We’re here. We made it,’ his grandmother whispered in his ear, and for the first time since they had left their home two nights ago, Filip saw his grandmother smiling, and when he looked around at the other faces around him, he saw that they were smiling too. Outside the truck was a new sun that he had never seen before. This was a golden sun and emitted such heat that it bathed everything below in joy. The sky was a perfect blue and there were white houses like none Filip had ever seen dotting the landscape. The houses looked so clean to him, not like the old falling down houses he was used to in Bulgaria. And there were orange trees and lemon trees in the gardens of the houses, and Filip wanted to leap from the truck and sink his teeth into the juicy goodness. Perhaps his grandmother was right, and this really would be a ‘better life.’
They weren’t in that truck for long before it pulled up outside one of the houses and once again the leader was hurrying everyone outside. But this time it was into the house, which was clean and cool. There was a shower and mattresses dotted around the large living room, and there was a phone.
‘Everyone is allowed to make one phone call,’ the leader informed them. Filip’s grandmother told him that she was going to phone his uncle, who was already in Greece, and would come and pick them up and take them to their new home. Filip was too tired to take it in, and collapsed on a mattress in the corner of the house and fell straight to sleep.
When he woke up he wasn’t in the house anymore, he was sitting on the back seat of a car with his grandmother and he gasped to see it. It wasn’t like the worn out, rusted cars he was used to. This car had soft cushion seats without any holes in them, and everything was clean and shiny.
‘Hey little guy,’ his uncle said from the drivers seat, ‘long time no see. How you doing?’ Filip was over the moon to see his uncle and to be away from the group. For the first time in days he felt safe. ‘Take a look at that view.’
Filip pulled himself up and looked out of the back window of the car. The road fell away behind them lined with palm trees, and in the distance beyond the trees was a sight that took his breath away. It was the sea. Big and blue and glittering in the sun like a large jewel. It was his first ever view of her. He grabbed his grandmother’s shoulder and pulled her round to see.
‘Look, look at that, it’s the sea’ he cried.
His uncle laughed. ‘Perhaps your cousins can take you there later, after you’ve had some food and put on some clean clothes. If you’d like.’
Filip nodded his head in excitement never taking his eyes of the sea. She was more beautiful than he had ever imagined and a big grin spread across his face.